Pics taken by me!

This one is a rainbow over Chantilly.

This one was over my house. (i edited this one a little to make the rainbow brighter and more visable)

To be honest I HATE the poem in this one, I wrote it like 5 years ago and I think it sounds stupid, but i took the picture too, and I love it!! (it's a picture of some bracelets, and it's not edited!!! but I could never take a pic of this twice)

I took this when I was at Disney World in FL. Also Edited by me.

This is my best friend's eye. Yes I did edit it, but all I did was make it black and white. Her eye's really are that amazing!

My FAVORITE song right now...

TiK ToK by Ke$ha!!!!!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NbzNzhQ9e0M

Wake up in the morning feeling like P Diddy (Hey, what up girl?)

Grab my glasses, I'm out the door I'm gonna hit this city (Lets go)

Before I leave, brush my teeth with a bottle of Jack

Cause when I leave for the night, I ain't coming back

I'm talking - pedicure on our toes, toes

Trying on all our clothes, clothes

Boys blowing up our phones, phones

Drop-topping, playing our favorite cd's

Pulling up to the parties

Trying to get a little bit tipsy

Don't stop, make it pop DJ, blow my speakers up

Tonight, Imma fight Till we see the sunlight

Tick tock, on the clock But the party don't stop,no

Woah-oh oh oh Woah-oh oh oh (x2)

Ain't got a care in world, but got plenty of beer

Ain't got no money in my pocket, but I'm already here

And now the dudes are lining up cause they hear we got swagger

But we kick em to the curb unless they look like Mick Jagger

I'm talking about - everybody getting crunk, crunk

Boys trying to touch my junk, junk

Gonna smack him if he getting too drunk, drunk

Now, now - we goin till they kick us out, out

Or the police shut us down, down

Police shut us down, down

Po-po shut us -

Don't stop, make it pop DJ, blow my speakers up

Tonight, Imma fight Till we see the sunlight

Tick tock, on the clock But the party don't stop,no

Woah-oh oh oh Woah-oh oh oh (x2)

DJ, you build me up

You break me down

My heart, it pounds

Yeah, you got me

With my hands up

You got me now

You got that sound

Yeah, you got me

DJ, you build me up

You break me down

My heart, it pounds

Yeah, you got me

With my hands up

Put your hands up

Put your hands up

Now, the party don't start until I walk in

Don't stop, make it pop DJ, blow my speakers up

Tonight, Imma fight Till we see the sunlight

Tick tock, on the clock But the party don't stop,no

Woah-oh oh oh Woah-oh oh oh (x2)

ED Poems and Such

Most of these don't have titles, just cause...they don't.
***If depressing things about Eating Disorders trigger you...please DO NOT read ahead***

-Untitled-June '09 in Commonweath
Look at her,
Look at her legs,
her thighs,
her calfs,
They're perfect.
Look at her,
Look at her face,
her nose,
her lips,
They're perfect.
Look at her,
Look at her waist,
her hips,
her stomach,
They're perfect.
Look at her,
Look at her body,
her thin,
flawless body.
She's perfect.

-Living Proof-

-Purging-June '09 in Commonwealth
It hurts, the pain.
It stings, the acid.
It has side effects, one's that last for minutes, hours, days, years, lifetimes.
It hurts, sore throats, sensitive teeth.
It stings, sore throats, sensitive feelings.
Now down to the real stuff...
bad teeth,
the bathroom, no longer safe,
paranoia, everyone knows,
weakness,
sensitive,
secrectiv, hidden,
extreme,
contorling,
unsafe,
wanting,
needing,
fears,
lies,
hospitals,
and more.
But it's all worth it!!

-Living Proof-


more later...

Hey......

So wow...I've been inactive on my blog in a really long time, like really long.
Well I guess I've wanted to get back on here for awhile, but had no real motivation, but now I do. Today I went to see a dietitian (<-omg...thank god for spell check) today. I like her a lot but it was still on of (if not the) hardest things for me to do. Now as it says in a previous post, I have an eating disorder. I put Anorexia, but as usual I don't really fit perfectly in any mold, so I just have an eating disorder. My parents are completely in the dark about this, so shhh. I really have only told about 5 people because I really don't want to give this up. But I realized that this will kill me one way or another if I don't get help. So back to today, I went in and was as honest as I think I've ever been about this stuff and was amazed at how I felt afterword. Well she suggested that I start blogging again. (That would be the motivation I mentioned earlier). So here I am. I'm not going to go through all of last year cause frankly I think my computer would slap me if I sat here that long.

But, just so you know...-I was diagnosed bi-polar I during one of the 4 hospital visits I've had since Sept of 08.
-I got brought in (to the hospital) by cops, twice.
-I DO NOT hate my hospital stays, they have all helped me move forward.
-I uncovered that I TRULY had an eating disorder when I starved myself for 6 days during an inpatient stay in May.
-I am not the jesus freak I used to be. As a matter of fact I have kinda pushed him to the back burner of the stove... next door.
-umm...I don't know what else I wanted to say.

So now, it's time to move on and try and find out what to do next. I guess in the next couple of posts I'm gonna type up some of my more eating disorder related poems.

Feedback is MUCH appreciated...positive or negative...I don't care.

umm...ttfn

-Living Proof-